Whether it be for religious reasons, nerves, or just straight-up
timing, some people choose to wait until marriage to have s ex for the
first time.
And whether it’s as magical as a double rainbow or awkward as an
ob-gyn visit, one thing’s for sure: S ex on your wedding night is
anything but predictable.
Here, nine women get super honest about the waiting game and their pursuit of matrimonial bliss.
1. “There was so much tension and build-up the months before the
night. We waited until the night after the wedding, which was the first
night of our honeymoon. We married young, so we rented a cottage about
one hour north of home and stayed for four days. I had so many
expectations and fears going into it.
What if I did it wrong? What if it hurts? What if I hate it and he
loves it? We both waited until marriage, but had done second and third
base before. That made it a little less scary. It was nice to have
someone with me who was just as nervous as I was. We set candles and
dimmed the lights. I always imagined a romantic, passionate first time.
However, it was awkward and very funny. I would have died from
embarrassment if he hadn’t been so calm. The first time only lasted
about 40 seconds. It hurt a lot for me; I was too nervous to get wet
naturally. We cuddled in bed after and laughed about it. Within the next
few days, we had s ex around 12 more times.
Each was a little less painful and during the last time, it
actually started to feel nice. It’s been a year now, and s ex is so much
better. We communicate what we like and dislike. It’s like having a
personalized vibrator that knows exactly what you want when you want.
I’m so thankful I waited for the right person.” —Sarah
2. “Before I met my now-husband, I had never really met someone who
I wanted to be with. I’ve had my fair share of chances of course, but
it never felt right. My now-husband was not a v!rgin when we met. I
honestly wasn’t even planning on saving myself until marriage, but it
was never a big part of our relationship. Of course, there were nights
that we would have fun in the bedroom, and that would involve basically
everything but s ex. He knew I was a v!rgin and wanted my first time to
be special. We would have long conversations about s ex and what it
meant to us, then I decided this is the man I’ll marry.
When he proposed after two years of dating, we got
married five months after. To say we were excited was an understatement.
Between gifts from my friends and things I’ve been collecting, I had
such a s exy wardrobe to wear over the honeymoon. The morning after we
were married, he woke up with me on top of him in one of the s exy
outfits I brought with me. There was a little discomfort the first time,
but since then, our s ex life has been great. I have nothing to compare
it to, but neither of us are complaining. S ex has brought us closer
together.” —Erica.
3. “It was nerve-racking. I thought I’d just save it until the
right person came along, but who would’ve thought I’d save it until
marriage! We did other things before, like oral and hand stuff, so I did
worry because I knew his penis is so small. But size didn’t and doesn’t
matter to me anymore, because our chemistry is what makes us feel alive
during s ex and during our marriage. He was not a v!rgin, and I made
him get tested before he even proposed. It does get better with time.
We’re still learning about each other’s bodies.” —Clementine.
4. “We had s ex on our wedding night. I was a v!rgin until
marriage, but my husband lost his v!rginity very young and has had s ex
with countless women. I guess s ex was more of a letdown than anything. I
was extremely discouraged by my lack of experience and also insecure in
knowing that he’s had a lot of previous experience. I’ve always been
led to believe that s ex for the first time will be awkward, maybe
painful, but so great because you’re exploring new things together. But
since we weren’t exploring something new together, s ex wasn’t what I
expected it would be. It brought out a lot of insecurities in me, and I
haven’t been able to overcome all of those insecurities just yet. I
think s ex in a marriage is a whole lot deeper than just two bodies.
It’s hard to explain. But I was let down. Some aspects have gotten
better. I feel more confident in what I’m doing. The insecurity in
having less experience than my husband, and my husband having far more
experience than me is still there.” —Anna, 23
5. “S ex for the first time after I got married was terrifying and
it hurt like hell. We were so excited to finally to do it that we did
the deed in the limo on the way to drop us off at the airport, which was
a terrible idea. Didn’t work out so great, so we had round two in our
honeymoon suite in Bora Bora. My husband was not a v!rgin before we met,
so it got difficult at times, but he made it. [Waiting until marriage]
was important to me for religious reasons, and I had been raised to do
so. S ex since then has been mind-blowing because I’m getting to try all
these different things I’ve never gotten to! We’ve been married for a
little over a year now and the s ex is still great!” —Margaret
6. “It was horrible. Not even joking. Waiting until marriage is the
biggest regret I have in life. We had s ex on our wedding night, and it
was just awful and hasn’t gotten any better, and we’ve been married for
four years. It causes so many issues in our relationship and we have
grown apart tremendously. We don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore.
My husband was not a v!rgin when we married, but I was for religious
reasons. He had s ex with his high school girlfriend. I wish I hadn’t
put so much pressure on myself to be a v!rgin. If I could go back and
change it, I would.” —Natasha
7. “I was a v!rgin until the night after my wedding. Growing up, it
was never an option to not remain a v!rgin and I genuinely believed
that if I had s ex before marriage, no one would want me. On the night
of my wedding, my husband carried me into our hotel room and set me on
the bed. We had done so many other things that the first part came
natural. We had great foreplay and then he asked me if I was ready. I
was chomping at the bit to finally get it over with and honestly it was
so anticlimatic — in every way. I had been fingered, so it didn’t hurt
much, but it felt awkward because I didn’t know how to move to make it
feel good. It was my husband’s first time too and he had the best time. I
didn’t climax until almost eight months in. You just really have to
know your body, and the only way to do that is to have s ex more and
more, communicate, and be willing to try new things. The first time I
came was when I asked if he would eat me out for a while before and then
when we were having s ex, he started to rub my clit. I didn’t even ask
him to do this, but it hit the spot, and now I come all the time.”
—Megan
8. “My ex-husband and I went to the hotel straight after the
wedding reception. It was awkward. We laughed at the thought of what was
going to happen. We didn’t know anything about foreplay, so we just
turned down the lights and played some s exy music. We didn’t know where
to put his pen!s. There was a lot of awkward poking until we got it
right. It was sloppy, we only did one position, and he finished in about
three minutes. He asked me, ‘Is that it?’ I took a shower and cried for
about 10 minutes. When I went to bed, he was asleep. My ex was also a
v!rgin and told me he married me to have s ex on our wedding night. It
taught me that s ex is just a thing and if I could do it again, I would
have just had s ex — would have saved a marriage and $30,000.” —Amanda.
9. “I was a v!rgin, but my husband wasn’t. We waited until our
wedding night for s ex, but had done everything else prior. I thought I
was fairly prepared because I wasn’t sheltered or anything like that. We
had s ex on our wedding night and it was way rougher than either of us
expected. I had trouble relaxing from the crazy day. I bled, which
wasn’t a surprise, but I was surprised that I continued bleeding for
about a week whenever we had s ex. It’s a month later, and it’s much
better now! The trick? Lube. Lots of lube. His pen!s physically cannot
hold any more amounts of lube. We thought we were using enough but you
can never use enough.” —Ashley
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