If you have been having trouble satisfying your partner during s*x in recent times, then this is for you to read.
When you write about s*x for a living,
it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that we should always be
inventing a new position or discovering a new erogenous zone. But
sometimes it’s good just to remind ourselves of some basics.
These 15 tips never go out of style—and they’re way easier to pull off than the Wheelbarrow, too.
1. Don’t rush. It’s much simpler and s*xier for your partner to say, “More, harder, oh god, faster,” than it is to say, “Whoa! Slow down there, cowboy.”
2. Do
provide positive reinforcement. Total silence sucks. Your partners will
welcome praise and feedback like Jessica Simpson would a good review.
Plus, it’s an easy way to dabble in dirty talk. If you can’t find the
words, appreciative noises work just as well.
3. Don’t
assume that just because you’re in love (or on good behavior), you
can’t have it dirty. The idea that marriage, monogamy or even good
manners is the end of dirty, throw-me-against-the-wall, taboo-busting
sex is a tired, old myth that you should debunk on a regular basis.
4. However, do ask permission before giving your partner a money shot in the face. That’s just good manners.
5. Do
have an over-active imagination.Talking and fantasizing together about
an orgy with your hottie mail carrier, your local news anchor, and Notre
Dame’s co-ed cheerleading team is usually infinitely more exciting than
a real orgy with your hairy, alcoholic, depressed neighbors. Include
your partner in your fantasies when it’s appropriate. Note: If you’re
having sex with your partner while thinking of someone else, it’s
probably better not to mention this—unless, of course, they’re dressed
up as that someone else.
6. Do
practice reciprocity. Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
Do not do unto to others with the expectation that they must do unto you
in return. However, you should assume that when your partner tickles
your back, it is not just because they’re being nice, but because they
would like you to tickle their back, too.
7. Don’t
assume that what worked on your previous partners will work on your
next one.The biggest mistake you can make is arrogantly assuming you
know it all.
8. Do
tell your partners what you like; don’t expect them to like it, too.
There is a difference between having a preference and being a fascist.
9. Don’t
pop buttons indiscriminately. Bodice ripping may be sexy in romance
paperbacks, but it only works in real life when you’re confident the
item of clothing is easily replaceable and not considered a luxury item
by your partner.
10. Do
remove your socks. Unless your partner specifically requests that you
leave them on or it’s freezing in the room. Guys: remove your socks as
you remove your pants, in one smooth maneuver, to avoid being caught,
even momentarily, in a nothing-but-socks moment.
11. Don’t
think about baseball just to prolong the inevitable. Being aware of and
attentive to your partner is the cornerstone of good sex. Who wants to
fuck someone who’s trying to recall all 70 of Mark McGwire’s
record-breaking home runs in 1998? Only Mark McGwire, that’s who.
12. Do
wash your hands. S*x is like dining: You should always wash your hands
right before. If you have been chopping chili peppers, soap and water
will not remove all the oils so do be careful when you go exploring
tender parts with your fingers.
13. …
but don’t become an obsessive-compulsive cleaner. Natural musky funk is
a good thing if your immune systems are compatible (a.k.a. you have
chemistry).
14. Do
make eye contact…at least every now and then. To avoid it completely
screams that you are either afraid of intimacy, that you are thinking of
someone else, or that you think your partner is butt ugly.
15. Do
have a sense of humor. There’s nothing worse than a serious, sensitive
ponytail guy or gal with no sense of irony or the absurd. If you fall
off the bed while trying out a new position, do not die of
embarrassment—laugh it off and live proudly.
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