You’ve been around the block once or
twice, and no, we’re not talking alternate side of the street parking.
We’re talking sex. You’ve done your homework, boned up on the finer
points of doing the deed, and when it comes to getting busy between the
sheets—or whatever your locale of choice—you can be trusted to bring it
on, bring it home and just…bring it. You’re the man. The love guru. A
sexual rock star. But you know what? You might be mistaken. While you
may be certain your performance is hitting all the right notes, in
reality, your off-key love song can potentially get you sacked in the
sack. (But always remember: all women were not created equal, especially
on the playing field of sexual yeas and nays. One girl’s thrill is
another’s What are you doing?here are 5 things yo need to know to put
you back in track!
1. The Pro
Beware being the guy who believes that
having an encyclopedic education in Tantra, The Kama Sutra and the
collected works of Dr. Ruth Westheimer makes you a proficient lover. A
little knowledge may be a dangerous thing, but so is a lot of knowledge
in the wrong hands, tongues or other man bits, and as everyone knows,
theory and practice are two very different animals.
The guy who is certain he can “give” a
woman an orgasm operates on the misconception that a woman’s orgasm is
his to give. It’s not. Yes, you can and should help her get there, but
the long, short, thick, thin and yeah, just right there of it is: a
woman’s climax is her own. A man so goal-oriented that he focuses solely
on “pleasuring his woman,” can expect to achieve the same result as one
who doesn’t care whether his partner gets off at all. He’s running
through his checklist, and an hour of oohing and ahhing later, she’s
thinking, “Are we there yet?”
2. The One-Noter
Ah, the clitoris: The seat of so much
pleasure, and the temple to so many misconceptions. Is clitoral
stimulation a good thing? Of course it is. Can there be too much of a
good thing. You betcha. While the ruby pearl is a magic button, it’s
certainly not the only one. Direct contact or fancy finagling down below
are not givens, nor should sex necessarily begin and end “on the dot.”
If your idea of foreplay is to shove a hand between her legs and have at
it, don’t be surprised if she shuts down rather than lights up. Every
woman has her own timing, tempo and preferred sequence of events. Learn
to read her music or you may get the hook.
3. The Rebel
Porn movies are fantasies. Many things
you see in them may make for fabulous wank fodder, but when going
one-on-one with a real partner of the non-inflatable variety, can be
real deal breakers. Spanking. DP. Facials. Girl-on-girl. We’re not
saying she won’t be into it, but we are saying you should broach the
subject before you invite the cable guy in for a threesome and cue the
cheesy soundtrack. Ironically, females are now major consumers of porn.
If your amore’s amenable, try watching some together and talking about
how far you’re both willing to go before you bust out the sex swing.
4. The Sloppy Eater
Those who treat the vagina like hogs at a
trough rarely find themselves asked back for a return engagement. Going
down? Good! Enthusiasm? Great! Slobbering, snuffling, snarfling,
snorting and/or grunting? Yuck.
5. The Marathon Man
Not every woman is capable of multiple
orgasms, nor does she necessarily want it to go on and on and on.
Sometimes, it’s a far better thing for you to come, than it is to
attempt to make her come again—or even at all. Heresy, right? Not
really. Intercourse does not have to lead to female orgasm 100 percent
of the time. As long as it doesn’t become a recurring theme, it’s not
the end of the world. Again, focus on the game, rather than the score,
and pleasure will be achieved. (She can always get herself off later,
and if you’re nice, she may even let you watch.
About Queen Larbih
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