EVERY
fortnight s*x and love expert Dr Pam Spurr brings you must-know
information to put sizzle between your sheets. Follow her on Twitter for
daily tips @drpamspurr.
All the chat about the next
James Bond got my girlfriends and me chatting about our fantasy men. It
nearly came to blows (not really) over who’d make the best Bond when
Daniel Craig hands over the crown.
As the cocktails
rolled, so too did admissions. Most of us had a hankering for Tom
Hiddleston. But equally ranked was the eye-poppingly handsome Idris
Elba.
Then there were some randoms like Tom Hardy (I can see it) and Benedict Cumberbatch (really?).
So here are six must-know things about fantasies:
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 1: Not an Anti-Climax
People
were asked (all in the name of $exology) to rate the power of their
orgasms when they were fantasising or not. When allowing $exy scenarios
into their minds, people rated their climaxes more powerful.
A very good reason to allow your mind to stray to all sorts of naughtiness IMO.
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 2: That Loving Feeling
Another
survey found couples who got confident enough to share their secret
fantasies felt they had greater emotional intimacy too. It helped take
their relationship to another level… with lots of lusty chat leading to
feeling more loved-up.
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 3: The Boredom Factor
Sharing
your fantasies with your partner is one key way to combat
bedroom-boredom. Especially as surveys find couples settle into one or
two tried and trusted positions, it’s an easy way to get variation
otherwise.
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 4: Don’t Get It Wrong
Firemen
and police fantasies are repeatedly at the top of female fantasies.
Don’t get this wrong, it doesn’t mean they want to be rescued from
something. When asked to explain why police and firemen are so popular,
most women reveal it’s about the $exiness of the uniform, some bulging
biceps, and getting good guys (people who are supposed to rescue you) to
do ‘bad’ things in bed!
So play into the fantasy
details. Chat through the scenario where you’re the firemen trying to do
something good, but she’s a vixen who wants to str!p off your uniform
and create your own heat. Help her be a bad girl!
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 5: Freaked-out About Role Play
One
main reason people say they don’t want to share their fantasies is
because they think that means they have to do role-play. They might
fantasise about being a swashbuckling pirate who captures a beautiful
maiden. But they’d die 1000 deaths if their partner asked them to dress
as a pirate.
You don’t have to. Simply relax kissing
and caressing your partner as you describe your fantasies to each other.
Pick up the thread of your partner’s fantasy and give a new twist to
the scenario. Have fun with a jokey pirate accent and banter, by all
means. But you don’t have to get the eyepatch, etc.!
FANTASY MUST- KNOW NO. 6: People You Know
When
you can’t get someone you know out of your fantasies (who isn’t your
partner), you may be dangerously close to a $exual obsession. If people
like that hot colleague, or your best friend’s new boyfriend or
girlfriend, feature in all your fantasies, give them a wide berth.
Focus on your partner and fantasy figures that don’t actually touch your real-life.
Dr Pam’s Position: str!p Search
This
is one of my favourite positions to recommend for fantasy play. She
leans against a wall and he comes in from behind. She can leave her
heels on to make penetration easier.
This position can
go along with lots of fantasy scenarios. Like the dirty detective str!p
searching a suspect during questioning. Or the managing director who’s
interviewing a new PA and expects her to show willing, etc.
Enjoy hands roaming all over her body during gentle thrusting.
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